Starfish on the move.
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business email glossary
- thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
- thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
- would you be so kind: fucking do it
- best: i have never physically met you
- all best: this conversation is over
- all my best: i wish you would die
- happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
- i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
- i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
- sorry to chase: answer my email
- so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
- i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
- please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
- i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
- i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
- i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
- can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
- per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
- great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
- thanks!: i'm not mad at you
- thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
- thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
- please advise: this might be your fault
- kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
- mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
- can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
- sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
- let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
- Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
- Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
it’s so disturbing to think back and realize the stuff you allowed people to do to you simply because you didn’t respect yourself enough to not let it happen
no one is ever too busy if they really feelin’ you
FACTS.
It’s true. Or they’ll at least let you know what’s up. I try to do that…
leathermouthfucker